That damn little red carpet.
As I crowded gate C20 at O’Hare during a recent United flight to San Francisco, I felt a disturbance in the crowd behind me. An “important” passenger was in a rush was weaving his way through the anxious proletariat. He was an old white guy wearing a suit (shocking!), and walked with swagger of a made man, a 1K or global services passenger. I saw his foot step on that damn little red carpet and it triggered a moment of startling clarity.
Here’s what the future holds for United Airlines.
Why stop at first class, business class, economy plus and economy? Global services, 1K, Premiere Executive, Premiere, Start Alliance. That’s simply not enough. Have 28 classes of services one for each row in the airplane. Organize it like a company org chart: Front row, Board of Directors. We carry you on board on a litter. The rest of the passengers bow silently as you move through the gate. Next, the Executive Suite. Senior Vice president? You’re in row 6. Director? Row 18. Temp?. Back of the bus. You don’t even get a seat. Sit on your suitcase instead. When we get to cruising altitude, shine the shoes of the guy in row 1, but please don’t talk.
Seriously though, how much ill will does that little red carpet create? As someone that flies in the front of the bus on occasion, I don’t care about the prestige associated with paying too much to fly. As someone who sits on the back regularly, it just makes me dream of the days that JetBlue will fly where I need to go.